Bracketology

Based on the schedules of every team, here is my team by team breakdown, and a final standings with playoffs prediction for Night League.

#1 Barifinkle/Team Sit on My Face (6-0)

With Malkin and Ortega left, I'm fairly confident that they can take care of business and finish the perfect regular season. It's been done every year so far, but no team in Night League (in our division), has ever finished a championship season undefeated.

Projected Record: 8-0

#2 Men

Men have arguably the hardest last 2 games out of anybody in the league: AK-47 and Globo Gym. Without Gorodetsky, I don't think AK-47 should be a problem, but Globo Gym should be a good game. Both teams have been making their case over the other all year long, and now's the time to finally settle it. Globo Gym woke up after a loss to Theo, and I hope I'm not jinxing them, and this doesn't mean they're better, but I think they'll beat Men.

Projected Record: 6-2

#3 Globo Gym Purple Cobras

Globo Gym has to get through two tough teams: Boo Radley and Friends, and Men. Boo Radley impressed many last week, suffering only a 12 point loss to Barifinkle, without star player Spencer Levin. If Spencer shows up, this could be a good game, but either way, I think Globo Gym should be fine. As for Men, see above.

Projected Record: 7-1

#4 AD

Even though they're 6-0, AD still hasn't been getting any respect (probably cause they don't deserve it), and they're out to prove something. They have Hungry Unicorns and AK-47 left, and as much as I hate to say it, I think they can get through both games. I hate picking them to beat AK-47, but I also don't feel confident AK could beat them, without Gorodetsky. AK-47 has clinched a playoff berth, so I doubt Robert Gorodetsky would risk further injury to play a meaningless game, and without him, AK is nothing. As for Hungry Unicorns... 1-5.

Projected Record: 8-0

#5 Theo

Theo is one of the most dangerous teams in the league. Although, their record would imply mediocrity, they are much better than 3-3. With the acquisition of Walt Lyon, Theo are legitimate title contenders. Tuesday's With Morrie, and Ba Dunk-A-Dunk stand in their way, and I think Harry Furse and Co. should steamroll to 2 wins.

Projected Record: 5-3

#6 AK-47

The good news about AK-47 is that they will have Robert Gorodetsky for the playoffs. The bad news is that they don't have him for their last 2 games, 2 of their hardest all year. I've stated I think Men will beat them, and I already said that I think AD will too.

Projected Record: 4-4

#7 Oklahoma City Thunder

Jeff Dsida and Co. have prided themselves on their awful schedule this year, and good for them, they've clinched a playoff berth. But they've got 2 tough games in front of them: Elect Judge Jim Wascher, who knows they need wins to make it to the A league; and Brown, who are faced with the same situation. I think Jim Wascher should provide a good test for OKC, but I don't think they'll have an answer for Jeff Dsida. As for Brown, I don't think OKC has a chance, I might regret this (and sorry team Brown for the jinx), but I'm picking Brown to win for sure. Not a guarantee, but one step short. 1-1 on the way in isn't too bad for OKC, and they definitely overachieved this year.

Projected Record: 6-2

#8 Brown

Brown has two tough games left: Ortega and OKC. Gordie Campbell travels to play his former team this week, and I don't know how I feel about this game. I like Ben Morton to have a big game, but who else will score, and I don't think Ortega will have an answer for sharp-shooting Gordie Campbell. As for OKC, see above.

Projected Record: 5-3

#9 Boo Radley and Friends

Globo Gym and We Are Huge in Japan stand in Boo's quest for an A-league berth. I think they'll lose to Globo Gym and beat We Are Huge in Japan, but Dronen scores 33.

Projected Record: 4-4

#10 Elect Judge Jim Wascher

OKC and Hungry Unicorns are left for Jim Wascher, who has won all the games they should, and lost all the games they should except for a shocking win against Men. Having to play #1, #2, #3 in the first 4 weeks, seemingly would eliminate them from playoff consideration, but they've fought to a 3-3 record. I'm picking OKC to win, but Hungry Unicorns to lose.

Projected Record: 4-4

#11 Ortega

Brown and Barifinkle stand in the way of Ortega, and as superior as they are to We Are Huge in Japan, I legitimately think Japan has a better chance at the A-league. Ortega played the #1 SOS this year, with their average opponent ranking at #7 in the ONL. They also had to play Barifinkle, Men, AK-47, and Theo, 4 of the top 6 teams in the league. Frankly, I think they'll lose in a close one to Brown, and get killed by Barifinkle. Ortega members and fans, if you want to make the A-league, YOU MUST BEAT BROWN.

Projected Record: 3-5

#12 We Are Huge in Japan

The fact that Japan is even in consideration for a spot in the A-league is unbelievable by itself. But the fact that they probably will make it is earth-shattering. They have to play a good Boo Radley and Friends team, and Attack the Rack. They won't beat Boo Radley, but I think they'll beat Attack the Rack. I just don't trust Sam Shapiro to have another big game.

Projected Record: 4-4

#13 Attack the Rack

Attack the Rack has had a few close games this year, a 1 point loss to Brown, a 2 point loss to AK-47, and a 1 point loss to Ortega. I think they are one of the top teams in the league, but they just haven't been able to close games. I think they lose against Japan, but beat TWM. If you are an Attack the Rack fan or player, YOU MUST WIN YOUR FINAL TWO GAMES FOR A CHANCE.

Projected Record: 3-5

Those are the playoff contenders, and if all things follow suit (which they probably won't), we would have final standings like so:

1. Barifinkle/Team Sit on My Face (8-0)
2. AD (8-0)
3. Globo Gym Purple Cobras (7-1)
4. Oklahoma City Thunder (6-2)
5. Men (6-2)
6. Brown (5-3)
7. Theo (5-3)

So far, I think these guys are pretty much shoo-ins. If Brown were to go 4-4 instead of 5-3, then they'd still make it to the playoffs because nobody would really pass them, and they'd still be in the top 8. Brown is the only team that isn't a lock on that list, in a freak accident where they lose both their last 2 games, but hey it's possible. The rest of these guys are clawing to try and get into the playoffs in that Tie-8th position. If one of these teams were to have an outstanding effort and upset AD, or Barifinkle, or a top team, the 4-4's could be knocked out, but right now, odds are that 4-4 gets in. Here are the teams at 4-4:

8. AK-47 (4-4)
9. We Are Huge in Japan (4-4)
10. Boo Radley and Friends (4-4)
11. Elect Judge Jim Wascher (4-4)

This is the most probable thing that could happen, although if Attack the Rack beats We Are Huge in Japan, they would make the playoffs instead of Japan. Also, If Ortega beats Brown, they will get in and make it 12 teams. 12 teams at most will get in, ensuring that if OKC goes 1-1, they'll get a bye, Barifinkle has locked up a bye, as has AD. The winner of the Men/Globo Gym game will get the 4th bye. If Ortega loses to Brown, 11 will get in, and both Men and Globo Gym will lock up byes Following my current predictions, here would by first round matchups (#'s are seeds, not ONL ranks):

#1 Barifinkle vs. BYE
#2 AD vs. BYE
#3 OKC Thunder vs. BYE
#4 Globo Gym vs. BYE
#5 Men vs. BYE
#6 Brown vs. #11 Elect Judge Jim Wascher
#7 Theo vs. #10 Boo Radley and Friends
#8 AK-47 vs. #9 We Are Huge in Japan

What the hell, I'm gonna keep going, all the way through the playoffs:

Brown beats Jim Wascher in a closer than expected game, Jim's dream of another last seed-to champion tournament ends early.
Theo kills Boo Radley and Friends (not literally, although Justin Horwitz is hospitalized after the game)
AK-47 beats We Are Huge in Japan by 50. Gorodetsky is back, and We Are Huge in Japan is 5 points and a Willie Peppey non-foul away from being 0-6 (I still can't get over that). So Round 2 (or the round of 8) looks like this:

#1 Barifinkle/Team Sit on My Face vs. #8 AK-47
#2 AD vs. #7 Theo
#3 OKC Thunder vs. #6 Brown (how has OKC not played a legitimately good team yet?)
#4 Globo Gym vs. #5 Men (game of the century, rematch of Week 8, except this time, it's for more than seeding)

Barifinkle vs. AK-47 is an interesting match-up, but I really don't think Robert Gorodetsky can single-handedly win this one with shooting, and I don't think Lavey and Kras will be effective with big trees Stu Voit and Charlie Gilvarg down low.
For Theo, Christmas comes early: a flock of undersized, cocky, non-athletes (except Matt Coan who is not undersized). AD's Christmas (or Chanunkah) present is a heavy dosing of cortisone shots to ease the pain Charlie Polan, Tim Stringer, Harry Furse..., etc. shall give them. They once again out-physical (John Madden) another team, and win a game that's surprisingly not a blowout, single digit win.
OKC gets a rematch of Week 8 (when we see OKC play them then, it could give us a much clearer picture of what could happen in the playoffs), but I don't think they hold on
Now the game of the year, I think much too early in the playoffs. It's a shame to think that one of these two obviously top-4 teams won't make it to the semi's but at least we'll get a good game early in the playoffs. I said Globo Gym wins regular season, so I say Men wins playoffs, but my pick here will be whoever lost the regular season game (assuming nobody tries to throw it). So what we've got in the semis looks like this:

#1 Barifinkle/Team Sit on My Face vs. #5 Men
#7 Theo vs. #6 Brown

I would like Theo to possibly upset Barifinkle, but I don't think Men can do it. Men and Barifinkle both like to run, and I just think Barifinkle does it much better. Sure, they'll have a chance, but I like Barifinkle to win.
As for Theo-Brown, it's obvious that Theo is the better team, but will they be able to win? It'll come down to free throw shooting, and if it holds up for Theo (it has so far), they'll win. Our championship pits preseason 1 vs. 2 in what should be a good match. The only thing I don't like about this is that Theo is not the 2nd best team around. Barifinkle, Men, and Globo Gym are the three best teams, so Men-Globo Gym seems like a semifinal, with the final being against Barfinkle. Whoever wins the first game wins the championship, but I'll keep picking, and end up with:

#1 Barifinkle/Team Sit on My Face vs. #7 Theo

Final Score: Barifinkle 48 - Theo 34

Barifinkle is by far the best team, and I think they'll win, and go for a perfect season. But be careful, it hasn't been done before in Night League, and there are always teams like the Giants that go under the radar.